Okay, so now what?

There's a part of Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection that discusses the idea of expectation. How if you tell yourself you have ZERO expectations for name-your-thing, that you're not actually protecting yourself from disappointment or that you don't care. Instead, you're denying yourself the joy of the thing happening or the support if the … Continue reading Okay, so now what?

Portland Bound + Other Things

Operation: Trial Engagement Begins I'm headed to Portland, Oregon next week to talk to a potential trial and determine my eligibility for said trial. This appears to be the lowest risk option with the highest reward. On paper, it looks like I'm good to go good, but they have to run their own tests to … Continue reading Portland Bound + Other Things

What’s going on?

Usually, no news is good news around these parts. It means I'm living my life and things are chugging along. I wish I could say that has been the case. But as ever, chronic disease is chronic (it's in the name!) and so we've spent the past two months getting information, and then more information, … Continue reading What’s going on?

The latest results

Warning: Math ahead. Well, graphs based on math. We got the CA-125 results back today, and typically, I reach out to my nearest and dearest to give them the breakdown of what's going on first before posting here. But frankly, I'm tired and not in the mood, so everyone gets to find out together. Okay? … Continue reading The latest results

PARP Progress & Anxiety

I started a PARP inhibitor about 8 weeks ago. The first week sucked, as my body adjusted to the new medication. This is still chemo after all, and while the side effects are far diminished compared to previous infusions, I spent the first week throwing up every morning. Once I got past that initial hurdle, … Continue reading PARP Progress & Anxiety

Certainty

Each time I get news about my treatment that isn't ideal, I find myself looking inward more. I know when I eventually share what's happening with all of you, I'll get nothing but resounding support. That knowledge has allowed me space to process my emotions in a way I never used to. * * * … Continue reading Certainty

Same Same

In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. - Robert Frost I've probably used that quote in a previous post, but it continues to be the truth, so I'm going to continue to use it. (sidenote: Robert Frost said this during his eightieth birthday celebration according to journalist … Continue reading Same Same

More quick news! CA-125 is 40!

I mean, what?! I'm 5 points from normal range, people!!! In hilariously (to me) appropriate fashion, Dr. T didn't even deliver the news, his RN Betty did. That's my barometer for knowing how serious things are or are not. Betty is the bottom rung (sorry, Betty, but you are); then Patty; then the man himself. … Continue reading More quick news! CA-125 is 40!

The Latest – October Edition

Yesterday's chemo was cancelled because my white blood cell count was too low. Yet another thing to add to the list of inconveniences caused by the addition of this new drug. However, it appears to be worth it because my CA-125 has dropped significantly! I'm down from 1348 to 160. (Friendly reminder that a normal … Continue reading The Latest – October Edition