There's a part of Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection that discusses the idea of expectation. How if you tell yourself you have ZERO expectations for name-your-thing, that you're not actually protecting yourself from disappointment or that you don't care. Instead, you're denying yourself the joy of the thing happening or the support if the … Continue reading Okay, so now what?
The latest results
Warning: Math ahead. Well, graphs based on math. We got the CA-125 results back today, and typically, I reach out to my nearest and dearest to give them the breakdown of what's going on first before posting here. But frankly, I'm tired and not in the mood, so everyone gets to find out together. Okay? … Continue reading The latest results
PARP Progress & Anxiety
I started a PARP inhibitor about 8 weeks ago. The first week sucked, as my body adjusted to the new medication. This is still chemo after all, and while the side effects are far diminished compared to previous infusions, I spent the first week throwing up every morning. Once I got past that initial hurdle, … Continue reading PARP Progress & Anxiety
Certainty
Each time I get news about my treatment that isn't ideal, I find myself looking inward more. I know when I eventually share what's happening with all of you, I'll get nothing but resounding support. That knowledge has allowed me space to process my emotions in a way I never used to. * * * … Continue reading Certainty
Travelogue + Well, that was unpleasant, or my thoughts on Round 1 of the new regime
First, let's start with some good. Our trip to Europe was AMAZING (as if there was any doubt) and it was the perfect escape from reality for 2 solid weeks of eating, walking, sightseeing, and siesta-ing. Three days in Venice turned out to be just the right amount of time to see everything we wanted … Continue reading Travelogue + Well, that was unpleasant, or my thoughts on Round 1 of the new regime
CT results & upcoming travel
I learned on Tuesday that the CT showed disease activity. The nurse wouldn't (couldn't) tell me more so I had to wait until a Friday afternoon phone call to find out just exactly what was going on. The long and short of it is this: the Doxil isn't working on its own. My CA-125 is … Continue reading CT results & upcoming travel
The Not Knowing
I'm back in the unknown again. My CA-125 is rising and Dr. T ordered a stat CT last week. I don't have results yet. My 5th round of Doxil is on Tuesday. It's not surprising at this point. Remember, chronic illness. And it's not that it gets easier to hear that things aren't working. It's … Continue reading The Not Knowing
News: The Doxil is Working
My recent blood work has shown a decline in my CA-125 test (nearly 50% down from the previous test). This means the treatment I'm on is working and I don't need to add anything else at this time. We'll test again in a month and go from there. *small optimistic happy dance* *but still not … Continue reading News: The Doxil is Working
Game on
TL;DR version: I'm starting treatment again. Yippee! (/sarcasm) I had a PET scan in the early part of May. The results showed mild uptake yet again (this is a good thing, no tumor activity) but with more sites of uptake (this is not a good thing, #becausemore). Given this information and my high CA-125 marker … Continue reading Game on
Thoughts & Musings: April Edition
And just like that, the month of April is almost gone. Life continues to move ahead, no matter how much I like it to slow down. Do you ever feel that way? Wishing you could stop the passage of time, even for a small moment? * * * * * Not good news. Not bad … Continue reading Thoughts & Musings: April Edition
All I can Do is Smile 