This is Kenji, Jessica's husband. I am writing with the heaviest of hearts to inform all of Jessica's blog followers that she has lost her 4 year war with ovarian cancer. I am going to keep the site up for at least another year because I recognize that it has a lot of information on … Continue reading Not A Day Less Will Do
Let's just dig right in, shall we? The clinical trial is off and running and last week was the first in October I wasn't in Portland. I will be there next week and the week after, and then my schedule moves to an every-four-week-visit timing. This first month requires more travel because I'm getting 2 … Continue reading Clinical Trial Update
It didn't matter that I all the referral paperwork finally went through last week. There was still a matter of determining true eligibility to be in the study and that meant another trip to Portland with a slew of tests on Monday. Even as results trickled in, checking the many boxes required for entry, until … Continue reading I’m IN.
I find it perfect and ironic that as I was cleaning out my Google Keep this morning, I came across this quote I wrote down some time in the past year. Expectation is hope. Hope is the act of conviction that despair won't have the final word. - Leslie Jones
There's a part of Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection that discusses the idea of expectation. How if you tell yourself you have ZERO expectations for name-your-thing, that you're not actually protecting yourself from disappointment or that you don't care. Instead, you're denying yourself the joy of the thing happening or the support if the … Continue reading Okay, so now what?
Operation: Trial Engagement Begins I'm headed to Portland, Oregon next week to talk to a potential trial and determine my eligibility for said trial. This appears to be the lowest risk option with the highest reward. On paper, it looks like I'm good to go good, but they have to run their own tests to … Continue reading Portland Bound + Other Things
Usually, no news is good news around these parts. It means I'm living my life and things are chugging along. I wish I could say that has been the case. But as ever, chronic disease is chronic (it's in the name!) and so we've spent the past two months getting information, and then more information, … Continue reading What’s going on?
Warning: Math ahead. Well, graphs based on math. We got the CA-125 results back today, and typically, I reach out to my nearest and dearest to give them the breakdown of what's going on first before posting here. But frankly, I'm tired and not in the mood, so everyone gets to find out together. Okay? … Continue reading The latest results
I started a PARP inhibitor about 8 weeks ago. The first week sucked, as my body adjusted to the new medication. This is still chemo after all, and while the side effects are far diminished compared to previous infusions, I spent the first week throwing up every morning. Once I got past that initial hurdle, … Continue reading PARP Progress & Anxiety
Each time I get news about my treatment that isn't ideal, I find myself looking inward more. I know when I eventually share what's happening with all of you, I'll get nothing but resounding support. That knowledge has allowed me space to process my emotions in a way I never used to. * * * … Continue reading Certainty
All I can Do is Smile 