One of the hardest parts of surgery recovery (minus the bowel issues, of course) has been the fatigue. My outside scar is healing very well, but I have to remind myself that the inside is still healing too. My doc says it’ll be about 3 months before I’m completely recovered from surgery. (Interesting note: my internal healing will not be affected by the chemo.)

So, I’ll go for my walk (I’m clocking in about 1 mile or so each day) and then need to sit and rest. I’ll putter around the house and then need to sit and rest. I’ll take a shower and then need to rest. Noticing a theme yet?

Additionally, I’m constantly aware of the calorie intake I need to get and have to remind myself to eat every 2 hours or so since I’m still not able to take in large quantities of food. (I know this is actually a better way to keep the energy up — little meals throughout the day.) But sometimes, it’s just exhausting to even make the damn meal!

This is my new normal. This normal will change next week. Or even tomorrow.

And what I’m taking from this is that I’m essentially being forced to release my need for control and just take things as they come. (Which, believe me, is far easier said than done.)

Some days I do better than others. And that’s all I can do. Just take it one day at a time.