I know the chemo is starting to wane when I can finally read my Facebook newsfeed without immediately wanting to throw up. It’s a little test I give myself in the morning, and this morning I passed!
Yesterday morning, not so much. For the first time since Round 2, I woke up to throw up and spent the rest of the morning and day pretty miserable. I had a REALLY good weekend though, so that sort of balances it out, in my opinion. (It’s all relative.)
Tomorrow is the LAST infusion. It almost doesn’t feel real, and it’s hard to to accept the truth of it. Even harder, I think, will be the transition back to “real” life.
It’s funny. Looking back, I mention more than once how I miss my routine and schedule, when the fact is, I did (I do) have a routine and schedule, it just has the appearance of living in perpetual Groundhog’s Day than actual life. Week 1 sucks; week 2 sucks less; week 3 feels almost normal. Do it again. Six times. Reset. Reload. Reengage.
Everyone else’s life keeps moving forward. Mine keeps resetting every 3 weeks.
Now that we’re reaching the end of this portion, how do I prepare myself? What’s really important to me and my family? How have things changed? What things still need to change? How do I reconnect with the world I’ve shut myself away from the past 6 months?
It’s easy to ask the questions. Now it’s time to do the work to find the answers.